Spiritual decay and renewal: The past six months.

So this is the first blog I have posted in a long, long time. A lot has changed in my life since the last one, I have moved out of the apartment and into a three bedroom house with a couple of roomies. I am also working 96 miles from where I live which is a bit of a drive each day but it is work. But what I wanted to talk about is where my spiritual walk has been over the past six months, or really where it has not been.

I have really experienced a disconnect in my walk with God. Some financial struggles that I have been experiencing impacted me in a big way in my actions. Instead of turning to God for strength to conquer my struggles I became depressed and started drinking to much which in turn led to other sin issues as well which drove a big wedge inbetween me and God. This self inflicted wedge effected me mentally and physically in my frame of mind and my actions. For the first time in my life I had no desire at all to go to church or even think about God. Even during struggles I have had in the past I still maintained a desire to go to church and discuss God with others. But not this time, my spiritual life was in serious decay.

It reached a point where I could no longer take this wedge I have put between me and God, I miss the intimacy with Him, I miss the relationship I have with Him. Over the past several weeks my desire for Him has been stirred, the fire and passion I once felt has been stoked again. While I have a long ways to go in removing this wedge, I know what I have to do and I will do it. My spiritual renewal has started.

My relationship with God is very real, and the depression and emptiness I feel without Him is incredibly frustrating. For all of you that read this, please keep me in your prayers that the spiritual renewal that has started in my life will continue and thrive. I want the intimate relationship God offers us, I cant continue this life without it. Without Him, this life just doesn't have meaning to me and it doesn't make sense. We were made to worship God, it is what makes us truly, and lastingly happy. He is the only thing in our life that will not let us down, even if we are not willing to accept that fact, it is true. I want to encourage all of you that feel broken, disheartened, overwhelmed or that are struggling to find what the purpose of this life is to turn to Jesus. Only He will never let you down, only when you experience the intimate relationship He offers us will this life ever truly make sense.

Tim Shrout